You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
