Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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