I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
