Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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