Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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