Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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