Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
