I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Two words: nipple clamps
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