you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
