Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize