the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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