I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
