I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
