I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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