she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
