real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
