Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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