It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
