you have to choose: penises or morals?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
