I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
