i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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