I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
lets start a swedish sibling band together
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
