Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
