I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
