you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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