Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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