I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
