i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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