I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
