I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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