I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
