Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
babies were throwing up all over the place
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
this will be a night to untag.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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