The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
