we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i've created a new STD.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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