I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
