At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
