Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize