So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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