sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I looked at my own cervix.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
