the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
