I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Too much gin, very little bucket
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize