He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
