wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
