I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize