So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
