we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
