He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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