Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
