Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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