This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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