Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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