My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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