I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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