Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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