I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We're too hungover to prance.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
