GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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