the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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