p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
this hospital has no fireball
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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