the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
