I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
