Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
