oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
