I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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